The Majestic Message Board

[Peffkitten]

This message board is a hive of wit and wisdom...I just went and randomly grabbed some quotes that I found funny... Add your own personal favourites...

Lauren: Is the gerbil dead? I bet you could get loads in a dead gerbil, but a live one might not be so co-operative
Dave : to be honest, live or dead some considerable force would still need to be used.

Nicole: Death sucks

Lauren : I think I'm a dark-chocolate covered pretzel.

Peff: Our real name is "Instep of May." We aren't a band, we're a chain of shoe shops.

Chalk: ah fuckit. i eat cheese again. and drink tea. i'll be smoking pot and getting pregnant before you know it.

ME: "Oh yeah... I was Peff, Baroness of the Wee Ceramic Kitten Coalition."
CHARLIE: "And we got all scared."
(pause)
ME: "Maybe *you* got scared."
CHARLIE: "It said kitten and it was freaky and stuff."

Chalk: Ohhhh grrrrrr you. you make it sound kinky or something!

Noony: IOM dolls! with bendable arms and real hair and detachable instruments! think of the fun!!

Peff: Noony's super-capacity bladder should be an object of awe, not disgust

Peff: Woweee, Lizzie is real hawt.
Molly: HAHA! You're so wrong. Or was that sarcasm? Are you drunk again Peff?

Peff: My coffee-making skills are going down the flusher. Too much coffee and too much sugar, creating some sort of bittersweet catastrophe in my mouth.

Chalk: We finally decided - our first band merch will be knee high stripy socks.
Molly: We did?
Peff: You were with us at the time, Liz. It was you + Charlie's idea.
Chalk: Yup
Molly: I was there? And involved? Now I feel silly. Ohhh, yes! I do remember..... tra la la....

Sweetblood: Its hell, the morning after the air stinks of dope and used condoms become a source of entertainment for the young'uns 'look mom, a snake skin' 'Come away jimmy!'

Peff: Oh my god! You made me laugh until I felt PAIN!

Chalk: Does this mean I get to start a completely money-fulled, passionless solo pop career?
Peff: Don't pretend you weren't going to already.

Peff: Ah, left-wing outcasts. My kinda people

Lauren: Why do you all not get it? Towels are the root of *everything*!

Chalk: Me odd? Lol. Jojo grew up in a house with stoned Bodger and Bungle! THAT, my dear, is ODD

Molly: Charlie honey, you are thin. Body dismorphia is not appealing.
Chalk: You lie. And use long words that I do not understand.

Lor: ne1 seen that broadband advert at the cinema? it had all these creatures coming out of this pipe and there was this worker man trying to get everything back in, but, being broadband, there was just loads of stuff spilling onto the street.
dont know bout you but i dont imagine that happens to most people.

Nicole: I am definitley a night person, shame I usually sleep through most of it.

Molly: The night is my friend. Sleep? What is this thing?

Peff: Today Chalk decided I was "The Kitten," and tried to draw a picture of me on the PC but failed miserbly and brke the PC into little pieces in afit of anger and then cried like a big girls' blous eand I had to glue all teh pieces to togethre again na dI fixed it by taking out the plusg_ putting it bakcin.
Chalk: Peff -you sound COMPLETELY pissed!!!! What where you drinking?

Noony: I've always wanted to eat an oxo cube, and my mum never let me. Well, now I'm a man, I can eat oxo cubes all I like, but for some reason, I don't, and I probably never will.

Molly: This is really strange, I don't even understand myself. It's like looking at someone else's post and trying to work out what they meant.

Peff: Dani Filth... Prince of Darkness, Spawn of Satan, Lord of the Underworld he may be... but don't you just wanna pick him up and give him a cuddle and pop him in your pocket?

Nicole: It's at time's like this when I wonder "Why the hell am I on the Message Board at gone 2 in the morning?" The answer...I have no idea, therein lies the problem.

Chalk: WARREN IS MIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEE AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT!!! DON'T YOU DARE GET YUR GRUBBY HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR MY WARREN OR I'LL BE FORCED TO QUIT THE BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peff: You know how it is when you stay up till 3am on the PC, drinking coffee, and suddenly your "stupid idea" filter breaks down, and you end up doing threads like this...

Chalk: i should sleep now. i'm starting to go strange

[Lor]

These are just some i read in the last couple of minutes. i'll have a look through when i have more time (and when im not supposed to be working)

sweetblood: Did I say I smoked pot?...I make a point to only smoke pot when i'm stoned...(<--makes no sense! Yay, i havent lost it!)

New member (though i think it was dan?) : catholics are crap. :/ they annoy me lots.

Nicole: I really need a mental tidy, you know this for a fact when you realise how little you would like to hang around with yourself or talk to yourself if you were someone else

Peffkitten: I too miss Noony and await for his return. MAybe his new lip ring gave him blood poisoning and he was sent to Wales to recuperate...?

and the whole 'where'd cheese go?' thing. that rocked. and i laughed my arse off. (not literally mind).

[Charlie]

Lor said:

New member (though i think it was dan?) : catholics are crap. :/ they annoy me lots.

yeah it was dan. and i found his faceparty thingy. brace yourself people but...........he's straight...... *shock**faints**dies*
....and doesnt do weed anymore.......
.......i never thought that would ever ever ever happen...
.....im utterly freaked out now...

[Peffkitten]

dude i still can't get to thaht! what the fuck is that about?

Lauren : In the Amazon, there are fish that *climb trees*.
Nicole: Nature rocks
Charlie: Rocks dont rock though. They're quite dull

Lauren: I am not evil compared to a biscuit.

Charlie: I have joined a group of Amazonian tree huggers.....my name is now Popu.

Molly: Ahhh, expressing emotions by 'smileys'. The world has most DEFINITELY progressed, don't you think?

Charlie: There's George Bush evil (BIG), and then there's Dani Filth evil (teeeny).
Lauren: Then there's McDonalds evil.

Peffkitten: We're putting on samples of crickets. And whales. I know you don't get whales in the rainforest, but they're so *ambient*
Molly: Do you get crickets in the rainforest?
Charlie: You do now!

Lor: ohhh fuck it. i cant be arsed. me = stupid

[Lor]

lauren: Jesus is not appropriately dressed for basketball. That would not go down in the NBA. Just because your Dad is God doesn't mean you can play in a dress, dude. Safety first.

sorry i have to go now, there are more, ill be back...

[Peffkitten]

Molly:You're going to die anyway. If you want to die from herion abuse, it doesn't actually matter.
Charlie:but but dying from heroin abuse would be so much more painful, slow and nasty then say, being hit by a bus...
Lauren: And dying of heroin abuse can be helped. Can't do anything much about them buses

Charlie: you gotta respect a man who says "aboot!"

***
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish.

(Lauren)
***

Charlie: my hair is not clean due to not having washed it for days....similar to my lack of changing clothes. when did i become so disgusting?

Molly: I got sent out of my english lesson the other day as I was stoned. i don't think they knew.

Lauren: I wish there were a serial killer in the Big Brother house. Would shake things up a bit.

Charlie: i saw an advert on tv. it's all like "swish" and "woosh" and terribly exciting.

Me: The giraffe is eating a cloud!!
Mother: Mmhmmm, it's hungry.
(from Verity)

Verity: where did you go?
Lauren : Can't remember
Verity: SHIT! must have been some holiday..

Lauren: A world without towels? What would we do?!
We'd all be cold, wet and miserable... We wouldn't feel like hugging. or eating. Or doing *anything*. Towels are a necessary part of life, like air or water.

Charlie: Oh Lauren - your skills of persuation have beffuffled me. How on Earth could I ever have chosen one of my best friends over towels!!

[kobraski]

i've never said anything good


but i am quoted on the scrolly thing at the moment. "I'M HARVESTING GODDAMNIT!!!"

[Peffkitten]

I like this thread, it amuses me